First Impressions Matter
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Photos are EVERYTHING.
Use 4–6 high-quality pictures. Include:
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A clear, smiling headshot (shows approachability).
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Eye contact with the camera
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A full-body shot (adds transparency).
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A candid photo doing something you love (shows personality).
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A social shot with friends (highlights sociability, but you should be the focus).
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Bonus: A travel or activity photo to spark conversation.
Avoid photo pitfalls:
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Group shots as your first photo.
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Sunglasses or hats in every picture.
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Overly filtered or shirtless bathroom selfies.
Your bio needs strategy:
Hinge prompts: Be witty, honest, or specific.
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Example: “I’ll fall for you if you know the difference between there, their, and they’re.”
Show, don’t tell.
Instead of “I love hiking,” say, “Planning my next trip to Zion. Recommendations?”
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Highlight what makes you unique without bragging.
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Add one lighthearted quip that shows a sense of humor.
Energy and Vibe: Be Someone They Want to Be Around
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Be positive. Focus on exciting or happy topics, not complaints or negativity.
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Show enthusiasm. Express genuine interest in what they’re saying with follow-up questions or reactions.
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“That sounds amazing! How did you get into that?”
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Don’t overdo it. Confidence is attractive, but overloading the other person with too much energy can feel overwhelming. Match their pace.
Red Flags to Avoid: What NOT to Do
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Don’t talk about exes or past relationships. This can come across as unresolved baggage.
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Avoid over-sharing. Keep it light and relevant—save deeper topics for later dates.
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Don’t be distracted. Put your phone away and give them your full attention.
Authenticity: Be Yourself
The best first impression is an authentic one. Show who you are and let your personality shine:
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If you’re nervous, it’s okay to admit it playfully: “I’m a little nervous—I guess that’s a good sign!”
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Be honest about your intentions, interests, and what you’re looking for.
Better Game Online
Rise above the competition
So many apps, so many people. We often match with so many people on apps these days its difficult to know where to focus your attention. When we do match someone we like, sometimes lack the game to get them to a first date. Better game online will get us more in person dates, and closer to finding the one.
How To Take Fire Pictures
Check out this great video on YouTube on how to take good photos for your profile
Master the Art of Messaging
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Start strong. Tailor Your Messages
Forget “Hey” or “What’s up?” Instead:
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Reference their profile: “What’s the story behind that skydiving pic?”
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Use playful curiosity: “On a scale of 1-10, how competitive are you at board games?”
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Compliment + ask: “You’ve got a great taste in books. Any recent recommendations?”
Personalise your openers.
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Instead of generic lines, pick something unique from their profile to reference. It shows you’ve paid attention.
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Example: If they love dogs, start with: “I need to know—what’s your dog’s name? They look like the boss of the house!”
Use their prompts or photos as a hook.
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Prompt: If they say, “I’m overly competitive about Scrabble,” you could write, “Okay, but do you know all the 2-letter words? That’s a dealbreaker!”
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Photo: “Is that Paris in the background? I bet there’s a good story behind that trip.”
Timing matters.
Reply within 12–24 hours. Too soon? You seem overly eager. Too late? You lose momentum.
Use humor and intrigue.
Match their tone and pace, and sprinkle in light teasing if they seem playful. A well-timed joke or pun can make you memorable, especially if it’s clever and tailored.
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“I see you’re into wine. Are you more of a sip-slowly-and-savor kind of person, or a ‘this glass will not survive’ type?”
Assumptions
People respond to assumptions better then questions, because they will typically correct you if you are wrong, or, if you are right they will go on to tell you more about that subject. Use them in combination with questions.
Be flirty without overdoing it
Playful banter can build attraction, but don’t rely solely on it. Mix in thoughtful or genuine comments.
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“You’ve got an adventurous side—I like that! What’s next on your bucket list?”
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Shift to deeper topics organically. After a few lighthearted exchanges, pivot to more meaningful questions to build emotional connection.
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Example: “What’s something you’ve always wanted to try but haven’t yet?”
Handle Lulls in Conversation Gracefully
If the conversation dies down, don’t panic. You can revive it with humor or a new topic:
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“So, I’ve got to ask: what’s your most unpopular opinion?”
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“Okay, random question—if you could switch lives with any fictional character, who would it be?”
Avoid Messaging Pitfalls
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Don’t double text. If they don’t reply, give it time. If they’re interested, they’ll get back to you.
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Avoid one-word replies. Keep the energy going by adding substance or asking something new.
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Watch for oversharing. Stay light and curious—don’t dive into heavy topics too soon (e.g., politics or past relationships).
Keep the Momentum Going
Don’t stay pen pals!
If the vibe is good after a few messages, move the conversation forward:
Suggest a casual video chat to "meet" and confirm chemistry.
Propose a specific, low-pressure date idea: “I know a spot with the best coffee in the city—how about Thursday?”
Respond thoughtfully
Don’t just answer their questions; give them something to respond to.
Example: If they ask about your weekend, reply with: “It was great! I went to a cool food festival and tried fried avocado tacos. Ever had them? They were surprisingly good!”
Use layered responses.
Combine an answer, a comment, and a question to create a natural rhythm.
Example: “I love live music too! I saw [band] last month—it was epic. Do you have a favorite concert memory?”
Introduce new topics naturally
When one thread feels finished, segue to another with a light preface:
“Speaking of adventures, do you have any hobbies that keep you busy?”
“By the way, your profile mentioned you like cooking—what’s your signature dish?”
Know When to Transition Off the App
After a few engaging exchanges, suggest moving to a more direct platform (like texting) or meeting in person.
Example: “You’re fun to chat with—I’d love to keep this going. Want to grab coffee this weekend?”
Don’t wait too long! Lingering on the app for weeks can fizzle out the connection.
Enhance Your Match Rate
Be active & Strategic
Log in daily, like/comment thoughtfully on profiles. Apps prioritize active users who engage meaningfully:
Like thoughtfully instead of mass-liking.
Message promptly when a match occurs.
Optimize timing.
Use the app during peak hours. Engagement is typically highest in the evenings (7–10 PM).
Be consistent. Log in daily to boost your visibility in the algorithm.
Expand preferences.
Widen your radius or adjust filters slightly. Tailor your approach to the app’s user base:
Hinge: Prioritize thoughtful likes and comments. The app’s users typically seek meaningful connections.
Bumble: Women make the first move, so craft an intriguing bio to give them something to work with.
Continuously Refine and Experiment
Test different photos and prompts. Swap out less popular ones and see what works best.
Ask for feedback. A trusted friend can offer valuable insights on your profile.
Review your matches. Are you attracting the type of people you’re interested in? Adjust accordingly.
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Focus on Mindset
Stay confident and authentic.
Women can sense insincerity or desperation. Confidence is attractive, but cockiness is a turn-off.
Don’t take rejection personally.
Not every match is meant to be. Each swipe is a step closer to someone great.
12 Rules of online dating
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Long Game Slow and Steady Wins the Race
Don't rush in to things, get a feel for the person you are messaging. It will take its course if its meant to be.
1 Message at a time
It can be easy to feel the need to double text or send multiple messages at the same time. Match the other person and let the long replies develop over time.
Mixture of Open Questions & Statements
Statements and assumuptions are much better than asking questions all the time. The trigger different kinds of responses and lead conversations down different paths. If you are going to ask questions, use open ones. (What, Where, Who, When, How?)
Message for at least 3-4 days before suggesting a date
Stand out and keep them waiting a little bit, build some anticipation. Really see if you like this person before asking them on a date, and be picky about who you ask out on a date. They shouldn't go to just anyone when searching for the one.
Play around with response times
In the beginning it's good to match response times, and build good momentum. Fluctuate responses after a while to see if leaving it a bit longer, triggers a quicker response their end. This is a good indication they are into you. Remember absence makes the heart grow fonder, but be mindful of peoples feelings,
Don't be too invested, use short responses occasionally
Shorter more direct responses can some times switch things up, shows you are busy, and can also get straight to the point. It shows you have your own life you are invested in, and don't need to be too invested in other peoples.
Don't be an open book, allow people to get to know you over time
A little mystery never went a miss. What's the old saying, curiosity killed the cat... It's nice to have things to talk about in person and not feel like you have covered everything before the first date. Unraveling over time is also a good way to show someone you trust them.
Its good to take charge, but see if you can get asked on a date
Women respond well to someone that leads and takes charge, but it's also nice to see how much someone might like you. Don't always be the one suggesting the date and see if you can wait and get asked out.
In the early stages compliments should be reserved for in person
Don't compliment someone to early, its okay to give out some after messaging for a while, but more so on something they appear good at or well versed in. Leave appearance compliments for in person, it comes across nicer and more genuine, plus you get to see their reaction rather then get a message.
Chill out, don't be too keen
Put yourself first, invest in you. Be interested in others, but match the energy you get back. It's not a rush, don't be too keen on others.
Be Assertive & Decisive
Taking the lead and charge is important, where you can ask them out. Plan a date and stick to it, try not to overthink or be indecisive.
Poke Fun & Tease
Banter and fun is a big part of chemistry and getting to know someone. Treat them mean and keep them keen... but not to mean, no one likes a d**K