Better Sex
Okay! This is kind of an important one...
Typically, we all find our way to one another for one main reason... We fancied each other! Physical attraction and sexual chemistry are the fundamentals to which people are drawn to one another and starting dating in the first place. At first its hot passionate love making and can't keep are hands off each other, and for some this continues, but for others so sexual spark withers and we need to reignite that hot flame! But what do the experts say is the right amount of sex to be having....?
12 Things to consider when it comes to sex
Sex is a fundamental aspect of many romantic relationships, contributing to intimacy, emotional connection, and overall satisfaction. However, maintaining a fulfilling and healthy sexual relationship requires ongoing effort, communication, and mutual respect. Here are key factors that couples should actively think about regarding their sex lives:
Communication
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Open Dialogue: Regular, honest conversations about sexual desires, needs, and preferences are vital. Both partners should feel comfortable discussing what they like and dislike.
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Non-Judgmental Approach: Avoid criticizing or shaming your partner for their preferences. Creating a safe space for sexual discussions helps foster intimacy.
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Frequency Discussions: Different people have different sexual drives. Couples should openly talk about how often they want to be intimate and find a compromise that suits both.
Emotional Intimacy
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Emotional Connection: Emotional closeness often enhances physical intimacy. Spending time nurturing your emotional bond—whether through affection, shared experiences, or quality time—can strengthen your sexual relationship.
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Vulnerability: Allowing yourself to be vulnerable in the bedroom can deepen trust and connection. Sharing fantasies or trying new things requires trust, and that vulnerability can be powerful.
Mutual Respect and Consent
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Consent: Consent is non-negotiable. Both partners must feel respected and comfortable saying "no" at any point. Respect for boundaries is key.
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Respecting Differences: If one partner is more or less interested in sex at a given time, it’s important to respect those differences without pressure or guilt.
Managing Stress and External Factors
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Stress and Libido: Stress, work pressures, or life changes (e.g., children, health issues) can affect sexual desire. It’s important to acknowledge these factors and manage them together.
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Self-Care: Taking care of mental and physical health, both individually and as a couple, helps ensure both partners feel good about themselves, which can enhance sexual attraction.
Body Positivity and Self-Esteem
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Confidence in One’s Body: Feeling good about yourself and your body can significantly impact sexual enjoyment. Encouraging each other to feel confident and attractive is important.
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Compliments and Reassurance: Verbally expressing attraction and appreciation can boost your partner’s self-esteem and make them feel desired.
Physical Health
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Physical Well-Being: Exercise, diet, and general health directly affect sexual performance and satisfaction. Keeping healthy, both mentally and physically, benefits your sex life.
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Sexual Health: Regular check-ups, open discussions about birth control, and safe sex practices are crucial for long-term sexual health and well-being.
Quality over Quantity
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Meaningful Encounters: Focusing on quality, connection, and mutual pleasure, rather than simply frequency, can lead to a more fulfilling sex life.
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Intimacy Beyond Sex: Recognize that intimacy can be non-sexual, too—cuddling, kissing, holding hands, and meaningful conversations can also create closeness.
Attuning to each other's Desires
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Understanding Needs: Make an effort to understand what pleases your partner and what makes them feel good, while sharing your own needs.
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Being Present: Being mentally and emotionally present during sexual encounters fosters stronger connections and better experiences.
Dealing with changes over time
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Adapting to Changes: Over time, age, health issues, or life events like having children can affect sexual desire and capability. It's important to adapt and find new ways to maintain intimacy and connection.
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Sexual Identity and Preferences: Acknowledge that sexual identities and preferences can evolve, and it’s crucial to keep the conversation open to ensure both partners remain satisfied.
Seeking help when needed
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Professional Guidance: If there are persistent issues, whether physical, emotional, or psychological, seeking advice from a therapist, counselor, or doctor can be a wise step. Relationship and sex therapists can provide valuable tools to enhance intimacy.
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Sexual Dysfunction: Problems like low libido, pain during sex, or erectile dysfunction can be addressed with medical or therapeutic support. These are common and treatable concerns.
Fun and Playfulness
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Maintain Playfulness: Keeping a sense of humor and playfulness in your sex life can alleviate pressure and create a more relaxed, enjoyable atmosphere.
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Spontaneity: While routines can be comforting, spontaneous moments of affection or intimacy can be exciting and remind both partners of the initial spark.
Dr Karen Video
Skip to 01:04:00 to see what Dr Karen Gurney has to say about sex, and frequency....
New ways to explore
Find out new things about your partner and what they like.
Sometimes it can be awkward conversation to have, and sometimes people don't feel sharing what they enjoy and sometime what they don't enjoy. As you may have seen communication is important but it's not easy for everyone. You may not have had the opportunity to sit down and discuss it, or ask what your partner would like to try. Here is a fun way to cross that line together, download the sheet below, grab some food (maybe some wine) and make an indoor date of it... maybe even try one or too things out!
