First Dates

"Be yourself. The right match will appreciate the real you, quirks and all."

First impressions are important, and so are first dates. Here you'll find some good ideas for first dates, a great mindset to have going into a first date, and some do's and don'ts.

The Mindset: Low Pressure, High Engagement

Don’t overthink it.

Treat the date as a fun opportunity to get to know someone, not a life-or-death audition. The goal is to connect and see if there’s mutual interest—not to secure a second date.

Detach from the outcome.

If it works, great. If not, it’s one step closer to finding someone who aligns with you.

Planning the Date: Keep it Simple

Choose a low-stakes setting.

Coffee, drinks, or a casual walk are perfect for first dates. They’re low commitment and conducive to conversation.
Avoid elaborate meals or activities that take hours (e.g., a movie)—those make a quick exit harder if there’s no vibe.

Pick a location with energy but not chaos.

A cozy coffee shop, a park, or a chill bar sets a nice mood.
Loud clubs or fancy restaurants can create pressure and awkwardness.

Pre Date Prep: Show up as your best self

Be on time. Lateness sends the wrong message.
Dress appropriately. Match the vibe of the date. Think clean, comfortable, and slightly elevated casual.
Mindset reminder. Before heading out, remind yourself: “I’m here to enjoy myself and see if we vibe. That’s it.”

Starting the Date: Break the ice

Open with warmth. Greet with a genuine smile, and if it feels right, a casual compliment: “You look great!” or “It’s nice to finally meet you!”
Ease into conversation. Start light: “How was your day?” or “Did you find the place okay?”

The Art of Conversation

Think flow, not interrogation.

Avoid rapid-fire questions. Instead, build off their answers: “You mentioned hiking—what’s the coolest trail you’ve done?”
Share your own stories and perspectives to keep it balanced.

Engage emotionally, not just factually.

Instead of only surface-level talk (job, hobbies), ask how they feel about things. For example:

“What’s something you’re really passionate about lately?”
“What’s been a highlight of your year so far?”

Be an active listener. Show you’re engaged by:

Nodding, making eye contact, and reacting (e.g., laughing, empathizing).
Asking follow-ups that show you care.

Sprinkle in light humor. Playful teasing (in moderation) helps break tension and shows personality.

Signs it's going well

Positive body language. Leaning in, smiling, maintaining eye contact, mirroring your movements.
Flowing conversation. If you’re laughing, sharing personal stories, and not checking the clock, you’re on the right track.
They’re asking you questions, too. This shows genuine interest.

Red Flags to watch For

Negativity. Constant complaining or focusing on past bad relationships.
Disinterest. Minimal engagement, short answers, or frequent phone-checking.
Fundamental mismatches. You discover major value or lifestyle differences (e.g., long-term goals).

Wrapping up: End on a positive note

Gauge interest. If you enjoyed it, say so! “I had a great time. I’d like to do this again if you’re interested.”
Be respectful. Even if you’re not feeling it, close politely: “It was nice meeting you. Thanks for coming out!”

Conversation Starters

Meeting someone new can be overwhelming, and sometimes feeling nervous means we don't always think straight and can get a bit stumped for ideas and thoughts. To keep conversation flowing in person, use / screenshot a few of the below and if you get stuck, we've a couple of them in during your first date. Maybe even try and memories 2-3 for the very start!

Light and Fun Icebreakers

What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?
If you could have dinner with any fictional character, who would it be?
Do you prefer road trips or flying for vacations?
What’s a food you could eat every day and never get tired of?
If you had a theme song, what would it be?
What’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve seen on the internet recently?
What’s your go-to comfort movie or TV show?
If you won the lottery tomorrow, what’s the first thing you’d do?
What’s a random skill or hobby you’ve always wanted to learn?
Have you ever had a funny or embarrassing travel experience?

Hobbies and Interests

What’s a hobby you could talk about for hours?
Have you ever tried something adventurous, like skydiving or scuba diving?
What’s a book, podcast, or show you’re really into right now?
If you could master any instrument instantly, what would it be?
Are you more of a morning person or a night owl?
Do you enjoy cooking? What’s your signature dish?
Have you ever taken a class just for fun? (Like pottery, painting, or dance?)
What kind of art or music inspires you the most?
Do you enjoy sports? Are you a player, a fan, or neither?
Have you ever had a hobby that people find unusual or unexpected?

Travel and Adventure

If you could live anywhere in the world for a year, where would it be?
What’s the most beautiful place you’ve ever visited?
Do you prefer the mountains, beach, or city for a getaway?
What’s your dream destination for a vacation?
Have you ever had a travel experience that completely changed your perspective?
What’s a place you visited that didn’t live up to the hype?
Do you like exploring hidden gems or sticking to popular tourist spots?
Have you ever traveled solo? How was the experience?
What’s your favorite type of food from a specific culture you’ve visited?
Do you collect anything from places you visit, like postcards or magnets?

Dreams and Aspirations

If you could instantly switch careers, what would you do?
What’s a personal goal you’re working on right now?
Have you ever thought about starting your own business or side hustle?
Do you believe in having a “five-year plan”?
If money weren’t an issue, what would your ideal day look like?
What’s one thing you’ve always wanted to try but haven’t yet?
Have you ever had a mentor or someone who inspired you?
What’s the best advice you’ve ever received?
If you could achieve one big thing in your life, what would it be?
Do you believe in chasing your dreams at all costs, or balancing them with practicality?

Family, Friends, and Relationships

Are you close to your family?
Do you have siblings? What’s your relationship with them like?
What’s a tradition from your family that you really love?
Who has had the biggest influence on who you are today?
Do you think of your friends as family?
How do you usually celebrate holidays or special occasions?
What’s the best piece of relationship advice you’ve ever gotten?
Do you prefer small gatherings with close friends or big social events?
What’s something you’ve learned from a past relationship?
Who do you call when you’re having a really tough day?

Work and Day-to-Day Life

What’s something you love about your current job?
Do you enjoy working from home or prefer an office environment?
Have you ever had a completely different career path or job?
What’s the most unusual job you’ve ever had?
What’s your idea of a perfect work-life balance?
How do you usually unwind after a long day?
Are you more of a planner or do you go with the flow?
What’s a typical weekend look like for you?
Do you enjoy keeping a routine, or do you like mixing things up?
What’s a productivity hack or habit you swear by?

Deeper and Thought-Provoking

What’s a belief or value you hold that’s very important to you?
Do you believe in fate, or do we create our own paths?
What’s a life experience that shaped who you are today?
How do you define happiness?
What’s a fear you’ve overcome in your life?
If you could relive any moment in your life, what would it be?
Do you believe people can truly change?
What’s something you’ve learned about yourself in the past year?
Do you think success is more about luck or hard work?
How do you usually handle conflict or challenges?