Top 5 Love Languages
Physical Touch
This love language centres on physical affection. People who prefer physical touch feel loved through hugs, hand-holding, cuddling, and other forms of physical connection. Touch provides comfort, reassurance, and intimacy for them.
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They naturally reach out to hold hands, give hugs, or sit close.
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They seem more affectionate in everyday interactions, often initiating touch.
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They may feel distant or unloved when there’s little physical affection.
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They express affection through spontaneous physical gestures, like a pat on the back or a gentle touch on the arm.
Words of Affirmation
People with this love language feel loved through spoken or written words. They thrive on verbal appreciation, compliments, and affirming statements. Hearing “I love you,” kind words, or even encouragement deeply resonates with them.
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They often compliment others and express themselves verbally.
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They light up when you praise them or give them positive feedback.
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They may frequently ask for reassurance or check in on how you feel about them.
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They might enjoy sending or receiving sweet texts, notes, or messages.
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Quality Time
People who value quality time feel loved through focused, undivided attention. It’s not just about spending time together; it’s about being fully present. Meaningful conversations, shared activities, and moments of connection are key.
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They seek one-on-one time and initiate plans to spend time together.
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They may express feeling disconnected when you’re distracted or unavailable.
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They enjoy deep conversations and often want to share experiences with you, whether it’s watching a movie or going on an adventure.
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They notice when you aren’t fully present (e.g., checking your phone during a conversation).
Gift Giving
This love language is about the thoughtfulness behind a gift rather than the gift's cost. Receiving tangible tokens of love, whether big or small, makes them feel cherished and remembered. Gifts symbolize love and attention to them.
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They cherish mementos or keepsakes and love giving and receiving thoughtful gifts.
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They remember special occasions and may put extra effort into finding meaningful presents.
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They show excitement or gratitude when receiving even small, thoughtful gifts.
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They may mention items they’ve seen that remind them of you, or drop subtle hints about things they like.
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Acts of Service
For these individuals, actions speak louder than words. They feel loved when their partner does things to ease their burdens, like helping with chores, running errands, or fixing things. It's about the effort and thoughtfulness behind the act.
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They appreciate it when you do things for them, even without asking.
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They may frequently offer to help you with tasks or do things for others.
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They value practical gestures like making a meal, picking up groceries, or handling tasks that make their life easier.
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When stressed or overwhelmed, they might say things like, "I could use some help around here."
How this language hints for love
Physical Touch
They could hint by reaching out for small physical connections like brushing against you or sitting close. If they’re feeling unloved, they might say things like, "We haven’t hugged much lately" or "I miss your touch."
Words of Affirmation
They may fish for compliments or seek verbal reassurance, asking questions like, "Do you still love me?" or "Did you like what I did?" They might also express self-doubt or be more vocal about feeling under-appreciated.
Quality Time
They may mention feeling distant or say things like, "We haven’t spent much time together lately." They might also initiate plans or try to pull you into shared activities, subtly showing their need for togetherness.
Gift Giving
They might drop hints about items they like or casually mention gifts other people have received. They could also express excitement over small tokens or mention that they "saw something and thought of you."
Acts of Service
They could indirectly hint by mentioning tasks they feel overwhelmed by or point out things that need doing. For example, they might say, "I've been so busy, I haven’t had time to clean" or "It would be nice if someone helped with this."
How the language likes to be Loved
Physical Touch
Those who value physical touch feel loved through physical closeness. Whether it's holding hands, hugging, or simply sitting close, touch is their preferred way of feeling connected and appreciated.
Words of Affirmation
People who value words of affirmation feel loved when they receive verbal expressions of affection, appreciation, encouragement, or praise. Compliments, thoughtful notes, or simply hearing "I love you" make them feel cherished.
Quality Time
People who prioritize quality time feel loved when they receive undivided attention. They appreciate one-on-one time, deep conversations, or shared activities where both partners are fully present.
Gift Giving
Individuals with this love language feel loved when they receive meaningful gifts. The thoughtfulness behind the gift—whether big or small—shows them they are valued and remembered.
Acts of Service
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Quick Tips
Being a team
It's important to remember in your relationship you are a team, and you work together against the world, not against each other. Try and be mindful of ways your can do small things throughout the day to bring you closer together with your partners love langue in mind. A quick hug, a compliment, a coffee, a 5 minute chat on the sofa holding hands, a chore of theirs to relieve some pressure.
The Big Thing
At least once a week / every fortnight, try and go big with your gesture and don't think this is something that has to cost a lot. Run a bath and set out some candles, clean the entire flat and make an extra lovely dinner, get some pop corn and snacks and make a big deal about movie night, stop them in their tracks and tell them for a few minutes straight how much you appreciate them and love them. It will all go a long way.
Things to avoid
Pressure
Often we like to show love in the same way we like to receive it, but that doesn't always mean the person we are with has the same love language as us, and they may at times feel overwhelmed by our way of showing love and its good to give space where you can and not feel rejected if it doesn't play out how you anticipate. Showing love is a venerable thing to do, and we can get hurt if it's not consumed in the way we hope, and that's not always the other parties intention.
Money over Effort
You'll see a common trend on this site that we are a big believer in money isn't always the answer (sometimes it helps) but everyone is in different positions and effort trumps money everyday of the week. Throwing money at something can sometimes also be viewed as effortless, and sometimes we put ourselves in positions we shouldn't because we think it's the answer. Here's my challenge to you, try and think of a big gesture you can do at home that is either free or costs you very little. The ideas will roll in if you think hard enough.